A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy

Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I! noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and SOCCER 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, andHouse cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried runningNagging 5..3! to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed,

_________ _________ _________ _________ Reply DEAR Madam, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command:ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed,Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These ar! e unsupported applications and will crashHusband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7. Good Luck Madam! IT SUPPORT DESK

Speed Up Your RAM!

To speed up your windows or to increase RAM virtually,
Right click on My Computer
>> Properties
>> Advanced
>> Performance - Settings
>> Advanced
>> Virtual Memory - Change
Keep the initial size same as recommended and maximum size double of it then restart your system.
It will improve speed of windows and you can play some games which require higher RAM.

15 Ways to Get Faster Answers and Save Clicks

You have already been using the Google search field, or maybe it’s Yahoo’s search field, for years now. And generally you probably have it open ready to go while using other programs. Here are ways you can reduce your number of clicks, and of course, save you time in the process just by using the search field more efficiently.

1.) If you are want to find out more information about a particular book, just type in the book’s title in the search field. Ex: Joe Vitale. You don’t need to go to a book stores web site. Now you have every where the book is talked about, including reviews. And most like the competitive pricing.

2.) If you need to calculate something, simply enter the calculation you’d like done into the search box. Ex: 5*9(sqrt 10)^3=. Or even simple addition. Ex: 5863+91/3= Always end with the equal sign.

3.) One of my favorites is to convert between different units of measurement of height, weight, and volume. Just enter your desired conversion into the search box. Ex: 10.5 cm in inches. My favorite conversion is pixels to inches.

4.) Public data is another fast find. Let’s say you want to find the population figure for your city. Since I live in Arlington, Virginia. I would type into the search field, “population ArlingtonVA.”

5.) As a write, many times I need to find a synonym or dictionary definition fast. Now, there are a lot of places online to find them but they are just too many clicks. Use the search field for this. To find a synonym, you type in the “~” in front of the word. Ex: ~abundance. For the definition, type in the word “define” and then add your word or phrase you want defined. Ex: "Define abundance.”

6.) Spell checker is fast too! Just type in the way you thought it should be spelled into the field. Wha-la, you have the most common spelling information.

This works if you get on the Internet with your iPhone or cell. Now these are really great click savers on a cell phone but can also be used on the desktop.

7.) Let’s say you’re out and you want to know where the closet restaurant is. Type in the type of food followed by the zip code. The last time I was in a unfamiliar place in West Virginia. I didn’t know the zip code, so I walked into a store and asked. Then type “Italian food” + zip code and I had my list. Another time, I typed in the street name, city and state with zip code words after it and I had the zip code. And then I asked for the nearest Pizza Hut.

8.) Using the same style in number 7 above, you can find movies. Type in “movies 22201.”

9.) What if you out looking at homes for sales. You find a street you really like. Input “homes sales, name of street, city and state, or leave out the city and state and just add the zip code if you have it. This is a great time saver if the real estate market moves as fast as it does in New York City.

10.) Is your mother’s plane going to be on time? Type in the airlines, flight number and the airport name. Ex: american airlines 3110 dulles airport.

11.) What if you’re in a foreign country or filling out your reimbursement form at work and you need to know how much one currency equals another. Ex: How many rubbles equal $5.55 or the reverse. To use the built-in currency converter, Simply enter the conversion you’d like done into the search box. Ex: 150 GBP in USD. Or the reverse: Ex: $5.55 USD in GBP. If this is something you need from time to time. Practice it ahead of time so it becomes familiar and you aren’t stressed when you’re in some flea market in Rome trying the conversion.

12.) Another one of my favorites is using the “fill in the blank” feature. The best way to ask a question is to use this feature. You do so by adding an asterisk (*) at the part of the sentence or question that you want finished. Ex: Isaac Newton discovered *. Show your child how to use this so they can do their homework easier.

When I was standing at a statute in Rome and I wanted to know who the guy was. I typed in his name and added the asterisk (*). When I returned to the group and they asked what I had learned, I filled them in. Their mouths dropped. After this, every where I went they wanted to go. Later I gave up my secret and showed them how to use this feature. After that they did all the research which saved me even more time -- talk about delegating (chuckle).

Last week, I used this feature for a sculpture I was sitting next. I had stopped to eat a sandwich outside the building I was going to speak. I used the artist information I learned in less than five minutes as a part of my opening remarks to my speech. I also explained how they could use this. They ate it up.

13.) Before I learned this feature, I would search for the USP web site and locate the tracking number field and then type it in. Now, in the Google search field just type in the package number. This works whether its for UPS, FedEx or USPS.

14.) Need to find a patent information fast. Just type in “patent” + the number.

15.) Need to know what state and/or city an area code belongs to? Just type in the three digit number. And it’s there fast.

How To Zip a File

Files have always grown bigger and bigger and they will continue to grow bigger in future as well. However, your storage media cannot grow with the same rate as that of the file growth rate. Even if you have lots of free space available, it would be pointless to waste it by storing files of enormous size. So how do you optimize on saving space then? Well the answer is simple! Just Zip your files!

Zipping a file means compressing a file so that it occupies less space on your storage media such as hard drive or DVD. This will not only save you on disk space but also help you organize your data in a much more efficient way and make your computer work faster! Zipping files is often what people do when they want to send large files by emails or upload large files to there website where there is not a lot of room to upload a whole big file.

So, back to the question how to Zip a file? You can do this is in 3 simple easy steps which are shown below and show you the best way to unzip a file.

1. Step One

Go to the file that you want to be zipped/compressed. In case of two or more files, add them in one folder and rename the folder to whatever you want it to be called.

2. Step Two

Right click on the file or folder depending on what you choose as per step one followed by ‘Send to’ and then selecting ‘Compressed Zip Folder’. This feature is in built into Windows XP and the higher versions so you will not have to download any programs although the program built into Windows has limited tool that you can use. Now you have to go and right click the file and then click zip file. You now should have a zipped file but if you are not using windows you will have to download and install a program such as winzip which allows you to zip programs in a flash. If you are going to use winzip you have to right click the file and choose send to and then you will need to find winzip in the list now you can go into winzip and click zip files it will now zip the files for you and they will be ready to be unzipped.

3. Step Three

The zipped file that you would get after compression would be a .zip file and a copy of your contents. You can either choose to delete your original files/folder or just let it remain, as per your convenience. The zipped file won’t need those original files anymore now. Also, the outcome would be only one zip file no matter how many files you zip. When you unzip the file, you would get all your files as they were before zipping. Now all you have to do is upload it to what ever your going to be using to carry the files and you have now finished zipping the file.

How To Extend Your Netbook's Battery

For netbook users, extending the battery life is a continuous source of concern. While netbooks may be ultra portable that you can put one conveniently in your handbag, their batteries only extend up to a certain number of hours. A 3-cell battery typically last up to three hours. A 6-cell battery and a 9-cell battery have a proportionally longer life span. Here are some ways that you can extend your netbook's battery life.

1. Defrag regularly

Defragmenting your netbook's hard drive is one of the best ways to make it perform better since it repairs the bad sectors that slow down your machine. Take the time to defrag your computer, but of course you don't do this when you're on battery mode.

2. Set your netbook to the lowest resolution.

Cut your netbook's resolution and lighting to the lowest performance to increase battery life. Some netbook's allow you to modify your CPU and your cooling systems, so you might want to set them to the lowest level.

3. Close non-important programs

Some unimportant programs that you might want to close while your netbook is on battery mode are Windows Media Plyer, iTunes, and desktop search. All these programs (substantially) cut down your battery life. Also, if you have an external CD/DVD drive, do not use it while you'e on battery mode.

4. Minimize external devices

Plugging USB devices like your USB mouse drain your laptop. So does using Wi-Fi and charging other devices like your iPod. (Charging USB devices while on battery mode is actually the surest way to drain your netbook's battery in the shortest time possible.)

5. Increase the RAM

Increasing the RAM allows you to process more with your netbook's memory rather than relying on its virtual memory, which demands more from your hard drive. Take note that adding more RAM actually consumes more energy, so you only have to do this when you use memory-intensive programs that would otherwise heavily use your virtual memory.

6. Keep your battery contacts clean

Make it a habit to clean your battery's metal contacts every two months with a cloth moistened with rubbing alcohol. This keeps power transfer from your battery more efficient.

7. Take care of your battery

Do not leave a charged battery dormant for long periods of time. When a battery is charged, you should use it every two to three weeks. Do not let your netbook's Li-On battery completely discharge because it will affect the memory.

8. Clean your netbook

There's a lot of sense in periodically cleaning your netbook; your netbook will operate more efficiently because it becomes cooler. Clean your netbook�s air vents with a cloth or keyboard cleaner.

9. Do not multi-task

Do one thing at a time on your mini laptop while you are on battery mode. Set your mind completely on one thing rather than opening your email client, listening to music and typing at the same time. If you try to do everything at once, you will only drain your battery without getting anything done.

10 Must Have Apps For Your Pen Drive

Having portable apps in Pen Drive is must for computer queeks.No need to install this softwares in your PC. Just double click on them and they are ready to use.Here is the list of 10 must have portable freewares.

1. Mozilla Firefox Portable Edition

Carry the “safest browser in the world” with you, also have your extensions, bookmarks and addons ready to use any time.

Download firefox portable

2. VLC Media Player Portable

Best media player supports almost all popular media file formats. Now take it with you anywhere you go.

Download VLC player portable

3. Pidgin Portable

All-in-one instant messaging (supports AIM, ICQ, MSN Messenger, Yahoo, Gtalk, etc)

Download Pidgin Portable

4. ClamWin Antivirus Portable

If you are a tech-geek you must be already having this on your thumb drive, free professional anti-virus to keep your PC safe anytime, anywhere.

Download ClamWin AntiVirus

5. Notepad++ Portable

Must have tool for programmers and developers. It’s main syntax highlighting feature makes it look different from other common text editors.

Download Notepad++ Portable

6.7-Zip Portable

Now uncompress all types of compressed files with this cool free app. This is one of the most popular freeware now made portable.

Download 7-zip Portable

7.CCleaner Portable

Free, easy to use and very useful application. Cleans crap files from your system in few minutes. Makes you PC run faster.

Download CCleaner portable

8.Utorrent

Download torrent files from anywhere you go.Tiny bittorrent client.

Download Utorrent

9.Restoration

Recover accidentally deleted files – even after they were deleted from the recycle bin.

Download Restoration

10.Foxit Reader

Foxit Reader is a small and fast PDF viewer that is compatible with PDF Standard 1.7. It includes Javascript support, interactive form filler, annotation tools and built-in text converter.

Download Foxit Reader

Google Chrome Offline Installer

Google Chrome is the latest open source browser out in the industry launched by Google.Chrome is really fast compared to other browsers. But one thing I don’t like about it is it’s Online Installer. When you download the chrome installer it is just a small file which then connects with the online server and installs chrome in your PC.It’s really painful when you have to install it on multiple computers.But don’t worry, we have the latest chrome offline installer links for you.

Offline installer can be useful in case you have to install it on other PC or in your laptop. You can save it for backup as well.

Features :

• Clean and easy to use.
• Lightweight compared to Firefox and IE.
• Task manager to see the memory consumed by each tab and many more features.

DOWNLOAD GOOGLE CHROME(9.1MB)

Transform Your Photos Into Pencil Sketches

Do you want to give some special effects to your pic, but don’t know how?? Don’t worry, you can easily make your photo look different with this easy to use tool named Fotosketcher.

Fotosketcher is a free and small but useful app which can help you to give some special effectsto your pic. Once you install this app you can give different type of special efects to your photos like water-color effect , pencil effect or painting effect

This program can run on almost all Windows version and is really good

if you like its features and want to give it a try then you can download it from here. It’s free.

DOWNLAOD FOTOSKETCHER (3.1MB)

Add sound to almost every event in Windows

XP comes with a new set of sounds that will surely add pizzazz to the way you work in Windows. But there's one problem -- you need to actually turn on the Windows default sound scheme before you'll be able to hear them.


To turn on the Windows XP default sound scheme, follow these directions:

Single-click the Start menu.
Single-click the Control Panel.
Single-click the Sounds, Speech, and Audio Devices icon.
Single-click the Sounds and Audio Devices icon or the text labeled "Change the sound scheme."
Make sure you're on the Sound tab and locate the pull-down menu under Sound scheme.
Select the Windows Default option and press Apply. Windows will ask you if you want to save the previous sound scheme. Since there wasn't a sound scheme already loaded, just choose No.

If you look under the text labeled "Program events," you'll be able to sample your new sounds or customize them with your own. Read Customize Events Sounds if you'd like to learn how to do this yourself.

Remove the Recycle Bin from the Desktop (in XP)

If you don't use the Recycle Bin to store deleted files , you can get rid of its desktop icon all together.

Run Regedit and go to:

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE/SOFTWARE/Microsoft/Windows/CurrentVersion/explorer/Desktop/NameSpace

Click on the "Recycle Bin" string in the right hand pane. Hit Del, click OK.